tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
