so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
