Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
