So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize