The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
