I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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