To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
