It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
