Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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