K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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