Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize