The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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