the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
