His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
