The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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