I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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