singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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