You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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