The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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