My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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