I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
