You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize