So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
