So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
