he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
