He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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