a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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