why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
