my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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