Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
