I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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