I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
