I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize