i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
