i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
