We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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