So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
