I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
sex in a hospital.. check
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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