Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
