does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
