the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
