I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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