bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
