member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize