i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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