Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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