Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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