the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
