I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
