youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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