I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
