i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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