mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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