the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
