we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i now understand why vodka
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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