no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
