I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize