my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
