my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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