Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize